Thursday, September 20, 2018

NOW and then, September 20

One year ago last night the lights went out. For us the lights didn't come back on for five months. Other people waited much longer.

One year ago today we hunkered down in a friend's concrete house, listening to the wind and the rain, no news, no contact with anyone outside our little box, not knowing what was coming or what to expect, but safe and together.

Today, now, it's calm, in fact, no wind at all. It's cloudy and might rain later, but that's kind of the way every day is this time of year. There are no tropical storms or hurricanes on the immediate horizon.

I am surprised at how emotional last night and this morning are, not just for me but apparently for many of us given the posts and comments others are making. But it's a very strange, odd emotionality (if that's even a word). I feel totally connected to the moment, to those around me who went through Maria whether they are right next to me or far away. At the same time I feel disconnected, like I'm watching from outside my body or watching a movie of myself. The calm is almost eerie, as unnatural in it's own way as the hurricane was. Yesterday was exactly the same kind of day but it didn't feel strange yesterday, only today.

As I've said before, the effects of those 30 hours a year ago are still with us. 

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