Tuesday's best moemnt

Today's best moment is about a horse. And a human.

Chocolate was our first horse here. Over the past three or four years Elaine has gravitated more towards KTJ  and Choco has become more and more "my" horse. As I've worked more with him, and with Elaine and Marie and our friend Chris as trainers, I've learned there are two things you work toward as you develop your relationship with a horse: trust and respect. Choco and I have developed a deep trust but there is still noticeable lack of respect. This most evident when I ask him to do certain ground exercises.

I've tried different activities and methods to get him to exercise, Some of the activities worked for other trainers and some worked for me for a few times. But in the end we come back to the same place: Choco refuses to do what I ask him to do. These sessions frequently end with me frustrated and Choco no closer to respecting me. In fact, quite the opposite, they give him reason to not see me as a herd leader.

Today the human - Elaine - gave me a new way to work with Choco. We worked in a larger - but still confined - space in what horse trainers call "at liberty," without lead ropes or lunge lines, without a hard connection between me and Chocolate. He is untethered, free to choose whether to accept and do what I ask or not. However, if he makes the "wrong" (i.e., does not do what I'm asking) choice, there are consequences. He has to work longer and harder. He doesn't get out of the exercise until he demonstrates respect.

This a more physically demanding training method for both of us, but I like it. It seems to do what I really want in training: Chocolate gets exercise, good exercise, and he is learning to respect me as a herd leader. I have to learn to be very clear in what I ask him for and how I ask for it. I have to be very aware of my own body position and body language so I send clear, understandable messages to him. It is great training for both of us.

We've only done it once but this seems like something that will work. It will take a while, more than a few sessions. But we made progress, more that we've made in weeks.

And that is Tuesday's best moment.

(I said that some days I have to pick through a number of positives for the best "best moment." Tuesday was one of those days. Close runner-up was a long, wonderful, long overdue conversation with our daughter followed by two really good surf shoots.)