We've all said at some time, "I guess you had to be there."
I have much greater empathy for veterans who don't talk about their experiences. I don't mean or pretend to equate what we're going through with being in a war zone. No one is shooting at us; we're not afraid of running over bombs (just holes in the road that look like they were made by bombs). We are not expected to shoot anyone else.
Part of why it's hard for vets to talk about their experiences is - if you weren't there, you can't understand it. You can hear the stories but can't truly share the memories or the feelings or the emotions.
That part is true here also. If you're not here, you cannot truly understand our day-to-day, hour-to-hour lives. Even as I write about waiting in line 11 hours in the sun or the rain for a gas truck that didn't come, I know that what I write is both true - and false. I cannot truly share the meeting people, the conversations, the jokes, the rumors, the shared bottles of water and the illegal beers, how the gas station became the community center.
Something I have come to deeply appreciate is the sign from World War II in the London Underground: "Keep Calm and Carry On." I got it on an intellectual level before, but now I get it on a visceral level. That's really all you can do: keep calm and carry on.
I hope as I write I can give you a sense of what it's like to be here but I know that, no matter how much you really want to or how much I want you to, you cannot truly understand unless you're here and part of it.
I will keep trying. I hope you will too.
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