Monday, December 03, 2018

MARIA log December 3 Day 72 Sunday

Sunday, December 3, day 72

Today was a hard hard day, one of the most difficult since the storm.

Elaine left for the States today. She's going to Cleveland for at least a month, maybe more, to help our daughter through a serious domestic shit-show.

We've been apart before. It's always hard but this it is especially so. Every other time our separations have been for adventures. There has been joy and celebration mixed in the difficulties of being apart.

Not this time. What waits at the end of this trip is a step into chaos. Oh, there will be moments of joy - it's Christmastime and she will be with the grandkids.

I'm supposed to go to Cleveland to join her in two weeks. I have crazy deeply conflicted feelings about going. The kids really want me to come; maybe my being there will help Amy (but maybe not). I can definitely help and support Elaine. It's my one chance in a couple of years to maybe see other family.

But there is still so much to do down here. Still no electric and so much cleaning to do. There are the animals (yes, I have great people to care for them). There is the house (yes, I have someone to stay here). If Amber were still here there would be no question: I would stay here.

Not to go would be a betrayal of family. To go feels like a betrayal of home. At least that's how it feels.

Fortunately it's Sunday and the drive to San Juan was uneventful. Thank you, Carole, for letting us take your van. We got to travel in luxury.

The rest of the day sucked. Before we left for San Juan we went to feed the horses. Both of KTJ's back legs were swollen and needed attention. We tried to squeeze in a last-minute snorkel but everywhere we looked it was too rough, especially with the lack of sand at the beach edges. It was just too dangerous. Besides, visibility was terrible. So on her last day Elaine had to care for her injured horse and couldn't do the one thing she wanted to do - get in the water.

Then we had to say good-bye.

NOW: December 3, 2018 - today was a much better day than a year ago. We worked horses, Elaine did therapy with a client and we rode a little around the ranch. Then waffles and fried apples for dinner. Together. MUCH better than last year.

No comments: