Tuesday, February 12, 2019

MARIA log February 12 Day 144 Monday

Monday, February 12 day 144

Heavy rain overnight. Oh and windy! Sideways rain against the shutters. It's blowing so hard, rain is coming in around the shutters!

We introduced Sprocket and Chocolate in the same field today. Choco didn't push Sprocket around the way Zip did. Choco was more subtle but still most definitely let Sprocket know who is the top horse in the herd.

After the horses, we went back to SBA to clear up stuff for our business loan. Apparently some of the stuff - paperwork, information - collected in the field offices isn't sufficient for the back home office.

Because our desktop computer still isn't working, I used our miserable laptop to look online for a new computer. I was told in no uncertain terms this is not a priority and I don't have time to waste looking for or money to buy a new computer.

To a point she's right but it was  crushing conversation anyway. I felt like a reprimanded child - a flashback to a incident when I was in the sixth grade. Plus, access to the computer and being able to edit photos is the one thing I really looked forward to . To have our one computer not working and to be told not to "waste" time looking for a new one was a double blow.

It sounds kind of silly once it's written down. but sopmetimes depression looks and sounds silly from the outside.

I wish I knew what this depression was all about. 

NOW Tuesday, February 12: "Big wheel keeps on turnin'/Proud Mary keeps on burnin'"A year to the day after this I was back looking for a new computer. The reasons are different but I was still looking. This time Elaine had the good sense/graces not to mention it. But in a way the result was the same. As soon as she sat down at the computer, she closed that browser page. And the message was the same.

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